Top ten political barnets

Written by 27 Jul 2012 on 27 July 2012 in Culture
Your hairdo can say so much about your intentions: ‘I’m stylish, confident, capable’. But what were these follicularly-challenged bigwigs trying to say?

This article is from the July issue of Total Politics

From afar, bubbly Boris’ barnet always looks scruffy and unkempt – if we’re looking for a nickname, ‘Mayor Mophead’ might fit – as though he never makes any effort to smarten up. As this close-up reveals, that’s actually completely true.

Donald Trump
A bad hair day for Donald Trump is a really bad hair day because of the sheer volumes of product, hairspray and water he has to put on to tame his gingery coiffeured curls. It’s heavy, and it can actually be quite painful.

Alastair Campbell
In 2003, the same year that he left ‘office’ and could no longer harangue journalists, Alastair Campbell beefed up his ‘bad man’ image with a new military style haircut. We wouldn’t mess with ‘Pitbull’ Campbell.

Julian Assange
The WikiLeaks founder’s shock of white hair can cause mix-ups with trendy celebs. Here the paparazzi thought they were getting a picture of Tilda Swinton (or maybe even Helen Mirren). The New Yorker’s Raffi Khatchadourian called his mop “spectral”. We’re certainly spooked.

The Queen
“How does one get the curls so tight? It looks bang tidy.” The Queen takes a few tips from a fellow perm-enthusiast in Warrington, as she goes on royal fact-finding tour to seek out the perfect Jubilee barnet before the big day.

William Hague
Little-known fact: William Hague is not actually bald. He just shaves all his hair off because otherwise he ends up looking like this. Rumour has it he has to pay a little man on a ladder to buff his ‘do with a broom.

Tony Blair
Second little-known fact: former PM Tony Blair was so keen to keep up his election-winning hairdo that Cherie personally stroked it into shape before media appearances. Even those for kiddies’ events.

Margaret Thatcher
Maggie’s often best remembered for her hard-line stance on the miners’ strike. But it was her war on flat, lifeless roots that really won at the ballot box. One national paper suggested ‘Maggie’ hair was making a comeback after it was spotted on Chanel and Marc Jacobs catwalks.

Arthur Scargill
Here we see the classic Scargill comb-over, as memorable a symbol of the 1980s as prawn cocktail and class warfare. It’s buoyant, neat, with a little bit of fun thrown in. So, nothing like the man himself, then…

George Osborne
Proof that trying out even the tiniest new look for your locks can make a big difference. George Osborne doesn’t look completely miserable here because of that cheeky little curl, plus an alluring pout. One commentator dubbed the look “the Lord Snooty”.

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