It’s Chris Williamson vs Piers Morgan as Westminster descends into major Greggs bust-up

Written by Dods staff on 4 January 2019 in Diary
Diary

Yep, you read that headline right.

Welcome to 2019, where Westminster's finest hacks and politicos are managing to set the tone for a momentous year in Britain's post-war history by, err, getting into a Twitter fight about pastry products.

Bakery chain Greggs - who made waves in SW1 when they launched a branch in Westminster tube station last year - announced this week it was offering up a vegan alternative to its popular sausage roll.

The Quorn-based version of the lunchtime hit is reportedly selling out across the UK. But it’s sparked a furious reaction from traditionalists, led by veteran hack and Good Morning Britain host Piers Morgan, who has said he won’t be going Vegan this January because he’d rather impale himself “on a rusty spear dosed with sulphuric acid”.

As well as blasting Greggs as “PC-ravaged clowns”, the former Mirror editor decided to crown himself the head of the “vegan resistance” by getting a "real" sausage roll in on room service.

The furious row over rolls soon spilled over into the political arena - with Labour left-winger and vegan extraordinaire Chris Williamson soon taking Morgan to task.

On the GMB host's claim "no one" asked for a vegan roll, Williamson fumed:

But Labour frontbencher Angela Rayner - who hails from Stockport - soon rallied to Morgan’s defence, backing his call for a full English breakfast and taking a swipe at northern rival Newcastle for giving rise to the meat-free treat.

A spectacular bonus battle then kicked off as hacks with nothing better to do in the new year lull offered their own hot takes on the hot product, while Tory MP Rob Halfon made it a cross-party affair by demanding equal rights for chicken fans.

Freelance journalist Marie Le Conte went a step further and questioned the motives of politicos pledging allegiance to the little orange-and-yellow fast food shops that could.

Lobby legend Tim Shipman had his own mind-boggling theory for Gregg’s soaring SW1 popularity. He suggested those tucking into the savoury faves were "simply fans of pastry products".

As of Friday, an estimated 97.6% of all tweets from Westminster were still about the Greggs sausage roll. It's almost like there's something big on the horizon they don't want to think about.

Hang on in there, it's nearly real news time again.

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