A new website backing the tousle-haired Tory for leader has launched, and the manifesto promises are exactly what you’d expect: Abolish inheritance tax, introduce some “efficiency” to the NHS, and tax cuts for wealth creators.
The website comes with some real-life endorsements from some of Bojo’s biggest supporters, including Steve Bannon, who says: “I think he has potential to be a great prime minister, not a good one.”
And President Donald Trump, who adds: “A very talented guy. I have a lot of respect for him. He has got the right attitude to be Prime Minister.”
Boris is said to have told the site: “I never wanted to be Prime Minister. Indeed, if there was anything I could do to stop myself from running for leader, I would.”
It turns out the website is a satirical piece by Remain-backing group Our Future Our Choice. It all looks very believable until you get to their disclaimer at the bottom.
It makes up pledges to tell the EU to "sod off" and quickly sign up to a trade deal with America which will allow "the spirit of American enterprise to course through the veins of our NHS".
“Instead of trusting the proud and Churchillian instincts of the British people, Frau May, with assistance from Herr Corbyn and the Marxist Labour Party, has decided to shred the Brexit Independence we voted for in favour of indefinite subjugation," the phoney Tory proclaims.
“I never wanted to be Prime Minister. Indeed, if there was anything I could do to stop myself from running for leader, I would. But we need a leader who will escape the shackles of the Customs Union, bin the backstop, and push our horizons back out across the seas we once ruled.”
The only problem for the OFOC crew is their vision of a dystopian future under the stewardship for Prime Minister Johnson might just be the perfect recruiting tool for those who think that a no-deal Brexit and a “fantastic trade deal with Donald Trump” are just the soothing medicament the sick man of Europe needs.