78 Quotes filtered by humour
My jaw dropped because at a stroke the tonsorial tweak of a flattened side parting just makes the 39-year--old Osborne look even younger. And as all the focus groups and polls seem to show, his inexperience is a factor in this election. Even one Conservative supporter on Twitter said he 'looks like his mum dressed him and patted his hair down with a lick of her hand before off to Auntie Mabel's funeral!' Others were much less polite.
Paul Waugh 20/04/2010
A Labour activist is taking a stroll along a cliff top, when he hears voices shouting for help. On closer inspection he sees two people clinging for dear life from the cliff's edge - one a Tory and one a Lib Dem. The moral dilemma, of course, is: which one should the Labour activist kick off first? Answer: the Tory. Business before pleasure...
Tom Harris 12/04/2010
Now I know which came first - the chicken not the egg.
David Cameron 22/04/2010
He asked, 'Do you ever come down to London? If you ever come down you must come to No10 and meet me and Sarah...' Well I just looked at him. I didn't like to say it, but all I could think was, 'I don't think you'll be there.'
Gillian Duffy 02/05/2010
My late husband gave his life to the Labour Party and my loyalty is to the party, and to what Gordon Brown has done for the country... My son holds his own views but I'm very angry about this and very angry with him.
Manjula Sood 04/05/2010
I gave a figure, off the top of my head, of a billion to a billion-and-a-half. I stand by that figure.
on justifying his claim that Conservative plans would save £1.5bn despite the fact that the institute for Fiscal Studies estimate was half of that
You can fool some of the people all of the time,
and those are all the ones you want to concentrate on
George W Bush
It's too bad the French don't have a word for entrepreneur.
George W Bush 26/05/2002
To one of his aides on his first-ever visit to France
A Conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits.
Category: Conservatives are...
To be a Conservative is to prefer the tried to the untried, the fact to mystery, the actual to the possible, the limited to the unbounded, the near to the distant, the sufficient to the super-abundant, the convenient to the perfect present, laughter to utopian bliss.
Michael Oakshott 1962
A liberal conservative is a man who thinks things ought to progress but would rather they remained as they are.
Sir James Fitzjames Stephen
Category: Conservatives are...
You're not talking about something down at the DIY store.
On his ?‡€£300 a roll wallpaper.
Category: Foot in Mouth
A lie can be half way round the world before the truth has got its boots on.
James Callaghan 1976
If the Tories get in, in five years no one will be able to afford to buy an egg.
Category: Hecklers (dealing with)
A man may think an untruth as well as speak one.
Richard Brinsley Sheridan
Grove Farm, Drakelow, Burton-on-Trent.
As local Mp he had been invited to a local rugyb club dinner . After listeneing to speech after speech during which the audience became increasingly rowdy has was then invited to give a short address... He did and walked out.
We must now allow ourselves to be blinded to long-term developments by the intensity of the short-term difficulties.
Sir Stafford Cripps 07/08/1947
I do not resent criticism, even when for the sake of emphasis it parts for the time with reality.
Winston Churchill 23/01/1944
The war has developed, not necessarily to Japan's advantage.