Quotes

78 Quotes filtered by humour

My jaw dropped because at a stroke the tonsorial tweak of a flattened side parting just makes the 39-year--old Osborne look even younger. And as all the focus groups and polls seem to show, his inexperience is a factor in this election. Even one Conservative supporter on Twitter said he 'looks like his mum dressed him and patted his hair down with a lick of her hand before off to Auntie Mabel's funeral!' Others were much less polite.

Paul Waugh 20/04/2010

Category: Repartee

Tags: Humour, Paul Waugh, Repartee

A Labour activist is taking a stroll along a cliff top, when he hears voices shouting for help. On closer inspection he sees two people clinging for dear life from the cliff's edge - one a Tory and one a Lib Dem. The moral dilemma, of course, is: which one should the Labour activist kick off first? Answer: the Tory. Business before pleasure...

Tom Harris 12/04/2010

Category: Criticism

Tags: Criticism, Humour, Tom Harris

Now I know which came first - the chicken not the egg.

David Cameron 22/04/2010

Category: Hecklers (dealing with), Oneliners

Tags: David Cameron, Hecklers (dealing with), Humour, Oneliners

He asked, 'Do you ever come down to London? If you ever come down you must come to No10 and meet me and Sarah...' Well I just looked at him. I didn't like to say it, but all I could think was, 'I don't think you'll be there.'

Gillian Duffy 02/05/2010

Category: Mistakes, Winning & Losing, Wise words

Tags: Economics, Elections, Gillian Duffy, Humour, Mistakes, Winning & Losing, Wise words

My late husband gave his life to the Labour Party and my loyalty is to the party, and to what Gordon Brown has done for the country... My son holds his own views but I'm very angry about this and very angry with him.

Manjula Sood 04/05/2010

Category: Criticism, Insulting Labour, Prime Minister (Office of)

Tags: Criticism, Government, Humour, Insulting Labour, Insults, Manjula Sood, Prime Minister (Office of)

I gave a figure, off the top of my head, of a billion to a billion-and-a-half. I stand by that figure.

Philip Hammond

on justifying his claim that Conservative plans would save £1.5bn despite the fact that the institute for Fiscal Studies estimate was half of that

Category: Conservative Party, Mistakes

Tags: Conservative Party, Humour, Mistakes, Philip Hammond, Political Parties

//

Category: Conservative Party, Mistakes

Tags: Conservative Party, Humour, Mistakes, Political Parties

You can fool some of the people all of the time,

and those are all the ones you want to concentrate on

George W Bush

Category: Oneliners, Standing for Office, Voter Turnout

Tags: Elections, George W Bush, Humour, Oneliners, Standing for Office, Voter Turnout

It's too bad the French don't have a word for entrepreneur.

George W Bush 26/05/2002

To one of his aides on his first-ever visit to France

Category: Quote of the Day, Foot in Mouth, France

Tags: Countries, Foot in Mouth, France, George W Bush, Humour

A liberal conservative is a man who thinks things ought to progress but would rather they remained as they are.

Sir James Fitzjames Stephen

Category: Conservatives are...

Tags: Conservatives are..., Humour, Sir James Fitzjames Stephen

A Conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits.

Woodrow Wilson

Category: Conservatives are...

Tags: Conservatives are..., Humour, Woodrow Wilson

To be a Conservative is to prefer the tried to the untried, the fact to mystery, the actual to the possible, the limited to the unbounded, the near to the distant, the sufficient to the super-abundant, the convenient to the perfect present, laughter to utopian bliss.

Michael Oakshott 1962

Category: Conservatives are..., Conservatism, Conservative Thought

Tags: Conservatism, Conservative Thought, Conservatives are..., Humour, Ideologies, Michael Oakshott

You're not talking about something down at the DIY store.

Derry Irvine

On his ?€£300 a roll wallpaper.

Category: Foot in Mouth

Tags: Derry Irvine, Foot in Mouth, Humour

A lie can be half way round the world before the truth has got its boots on.

James Callaghan 1976

Category: Lies & Lieing, Truth

Tags: Humour, James Callaghan, Lies & Lieing, Politics, Truth

If the Tories get in, in five years no one will be able to afford to buy an egg.

Harold Wilson

Category: Hecklers (dealing with)

Tags: Harold Wilson, Hecklers (dealing with), Humour

A man may think an untruth as well as speak one.

Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Category: Lies & Lieing, Truth

Tags: Humour, Lies & Lieing, Politics, Richard Brinsley Sheridan, Truth

Grove Farm, Drakelow, Burton-on-Trent.

Ivan Lawrence

As local Mp he had been invited to a local rugyb club dinner . After listeneing to speech after speech during which the audience became increasingly rowdy has was then invited to give a short address... He did and walked out.

Category: 100 Best Quotes Ever, Repartee

Tags: 100 Best Quotes Ever, Humour, Ivan Lawrence, Pick of the bunch, Repartee

We must now allow ourselves to be blinded to long-term developments by the intensity of the short-term difficulties.

Sir Stafford Cripps 07/08/1947

Category: Predictions

Tags: Humour, Predictions, Sir Stafford Cripps

I do not resent criticism, even when for the sake of emphasis it parts for the time with reality.

Winston Churchill 23/01/1944

Category: Criticism

Tags: Criticism, Humour, Winston Churchill

The war has developed, not necessarily to Japan's advantage.

Emperor Hirohito

Category: Stating the Bleedin' Obvious, World War II

Tags: Emperor Hirohito, Humour, Stating the Bleedin' Obvious, World Politics, World War II

Random Speech

Education makes a people easy to lead but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave.

Lord Brougham

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