What's been said in the past month

"When I hear phrases like ‘criminogenic needs of offenders' it drives me nuts."Justice Secretary JackStraw on the jargon his department uses.The Independent, 28/10/2008

"There's probably no god. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."Atheists hedge their bets in an upcoming bus ad campaign.justgiving.com/atheistbus, 21/10/2008

"People don't like being preached at. Sometimes it does them good, but they still don't like it."Stephen Green of pressure group Christian Voice responds to the atheist bus campaign, apparently with a straightface.BBC News, 21/10/2008

"If you expose a flank to a flashing stiletto then chances are you're going to get a wound for your pains."John Pienaar on the George Osborne donation row, after the Tory divulged details of a private conversation withPeter Mandelson to the press.BBC Radio Five Live, 22/10/2008"My Lords, in ancient Greek mythology, the Titans were a pretty unsavoury lot. One of them cut off the unmentionable parts of his father with a sickle, married one of his sisters, swallowed five of his children and finally, along with his siblings, was cast into the dreaded Lake Tartarus."The Lord Bishop of Portsmouth, Kenneth Stevenson, implores government minister William Bach to rename their planned Titan prisons.BBC News, 31/10/2008

"Your cat should have somewhere suitable to go to the toilet. This can be an indoor tray with some suitable material, such as cat litter or your cat may prefer to go outside."Guidance on the welfare of cats issued by the Department for the BleedingDEFRA website, 04/11/2008

"What do you mean ‘let's go and smoke a fag?'"Ricky Gervais offers up his top 10 stupid things Americans say to Brits.Late Show with David Letterman, 03/11/2008