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The culture of the gentlemen's club is rapidly changing. Tara Hamilton-Miller talks to MPs Damian Green and Tom Harris

 

"I drifted into Pratt's, having taken the precaution of dressing beautifully in a new Blade's suit, pale pink cotton shirt, etc. Three incredibly boring buffers occupying the middle table, dressed a la Macmillan in cardigans making desultory conversation and ill-informed comments on politics. The cooking remains execrable, not that any of the members seem to have palates. I went back to Brook's and had quite an amusing dinner, although too much claret" – Just another evening out for Alan Clark on the 4 November 1980.

 

Do any MPs still behave like this? Gentleman's clubs have been refuges not just for supper but for gossip and gambling for years. Conservative MPs have historically favoured Pratt's, Brooks's and White's, Labour used the Commonwealth Club. The use of the traditional club however is dwindling. What would it take to tempt MPs back to clubs? Are they 'clubbable'?

 

The idea of a club has always been very English and very male. Fine wine, nursery food and all the broadsheets. An exemplary cheese board and the best Welsh rarebit in town. What more could a man ask for?

 

I was joined by Tom Harris MP and Damian Green MP, (pre-arrest, "Free the Ashford One") for lunch at The Royal Over-Seas League (ROSL). It is quite lovely, great location just off St James, a roaring log fire, old-school staff and a re-assuring smell of books and Sunday roast. It's very egalitarian, unlike some of the stuffier London clubs who still refuse to accept women members. The ROSL has accepted women since 1910. Although the food and wine are delicious, the dining room is empty; would my guests join a place like this?

 

Tom Harris admits to being a member of the Castlemilk Working Men's Club in Glasgow. Damian Green was previously a member and on the board of the Carlton Club but resigned after they twice voted against women members, Alan Duncan did the same (a decision that has recently been over-turned).

 

Duncan says: "We have all become more proletarian now, we want a more informal atmosphere than most clubs allow."

 

David Cameron has shunned White's recently which must be irritating for one or two Tory MPs who were terribly keen to join. No wonder Cameron is wary of White's, being a member of the Bullingdon Club at Oxford produced two snaps that prove a picture speaks a thousand words for him and his Shadow Chancellor.

 

A smattering of MPs (male, can't boil an egg) still live in clubs during the week, this is all put down to practicalities but is obviously down to the desire to be looked after like mummy used to.

 

The more fun Labour bunch are most likely to be found crooning Dean Martin in a bar in Soho possibly after a brief session in Lucky Voice Karaoke nearby. One Labour Elvis fan says: "After a long day I would much rather be singing Suspicious Minds than sitting in club with no atmosphere and no girls." In the 90s The Groucho was the hangout for the new Labour brigade. Recently the talented Kevin Brennan MP united the Groucho bar in song as he banged out Let it be on the piano. The Arts Club in Mayfair has seduced a few of the younger side-burn flashing Labour members.

 

The left are universally wary of clubs. Some are members of the Commonwealth and the National Liberal Club but one senior Labour minister reckons: "That is an automatic ticket to being slagged off in the diary column of Tribune, when Stephen [Twigg] joined the NLC, it was used as a sign he was going to defect to the Libs."

Some Labour MPs such as David Miliband enjoy boasting they are a member of the working men's club of whatever northern town they represent. This is when being a 'member' involves going there once while canvassing and grimacing through a pint of real ale. Most MPs turn up at working men's clubs at lunchtime when there are people there, but no entertainment going on so they don't have to sing Agadoo, perform the Slosh or read out bingo numbers.

 

What about female MPs, would they want to go to White's? Probably not. Does the House of Commons ladies loos on a Tuesday night look like a Superdrug advert as Harriet, Theresa and Diane fight for mirror space, sharing eyeliner application tips? When I last saw Lynne Featherstone MP she was with gorgeous friends in Brown's Hotel sipping cocktails like a scene out of Sex and the City. Nadine Dorries MP says that because of workload and voting times she will have a drink in one of the Commons bars but has little interest in clubs, saying: "I would rather go to a nice restaurant."

 

There is a feeling of financial hardship from many who simply find clubs too costly for the amount of time they can spend there. Ed Vaizey MP says: "I resigned from the Garrick and the Beefsteak because they are too expensive and because sometimes after work you don't want to wear a suit and tie during supper. If I'm in the Commons I bump into friends. You join a club so you can invite people along – what better place than Parliament."

 

Green and Harris both admit their wives would "go nuts" to put it lightly, if they were in a Pall Mall Club until the wee small hours. Neither of them are convinced they would join any club in town. Tom Harris says: "The Commons is my club". In a comment that is now the most ironic statement of the year Green added: "I suppose what we have in the Commons is trust, from the Tea Room to the bars and restaurants there is camaraderie and security among all of us cross party."

 

I did witness an exception to this new club-shunning rule this week. In the urban neon space that is the Light bar in the St Martin Lane Hotel, one suave Tory MP muttered discreetly to another, "Pratt's?" his chum nodded back and they floated out. I presume they were off to the club and not talking about the surrounding martini sippers.

 

Tara Hamilton-Miller is a political columnist

 

London's best gentlemen's clubs

 

Pratt's Club,

14 Park Place, Westminster, London SW1A 1LP

Tel: 020 74930397

 

National Liberal Club

Whitehall Place, London SW1A 2HE

Tel: 020 7930 9871

 

The Royal Over-Seas League

Over-Seas House, Park Place, St James's Street, London SW1A 1LR

Tel: 020 7408 0214

 

Brooks's

60 St. James's Street, London SW1A 1LN

Tel: 020 7493 4411

 

White's

37-38 St. James's Street, London SW1A 1JG

Tel: 020 7493 6671

 

Commonwealth Club

25 Northumberland Avenue, London WC2N 5AP

Tel: 020 7766 9200

 

The Arts Club

40 Dover Street, Mayfair, London W1S 4NP

Tel: 020 7290 3550

 

The Garrick Club

15 Garrick Street, London WC2E 9AY

Tel: 020 7836 1737

 

Beefsteak

9 Irving Street, London WC2H 7AT

Tel: 020 7930 5722

 

Carlton Club

69 St James's Street, London SW1A 1PJ

Tel: 020 7493 1164