Aviva Total Politics 2010 Election Map

Total Politics - because knowledge is power

Whether they concern election results, favourite pop bands or sexual misdemeanours, many tales about politics are completely untrue. We count down our favourite falsies

 

 

 

50
An alliance of Labour and Liberal MPs could have secured political ascendancy in the 1920s
A favourite of some political historians, this alliance would have changed the political landscape of the 20th century if it had happened. It is highly questionable - half of Liberal MPs defected to the Tories in the early 1930s.

 

 

49

Basildon swung to the Conservatives in the 1992 General Election
This Essex seat remains a hugely significant bell weather marginal in general elections. The Conservative victory in 1992 was seen as concrete proof that an unlikely fourth term beckoned for the party. In reality, the seat swung to Labour, but by a grossly insufficient amount.

 

 

48
Labour's ethical foreign policy
This phrase was used to pillory Robin Cook's tenure as Foreign Secretary in Blair's first term. It overeggs Cooks' philosophy. He merely called for an "ethical dimension to foreign policy" in 1997. The foreign philosophy which pulled Blair towards joining the Iraq War proved even more unpopular.

 

 

47

The EU banned bendy bananas

This caused a stir in 1994 and is often used as an example of why the EU is an overly bureaucratic madhouse. Unsurprisingly it's a large exaggeration. The EU does classify bananas according to quality and size but a bend is still allowed.

 

 

46

Blair ate rabbit during the Granita 'pact'

This rumour emerged out of the deal that secured Brown's acquiescence in 1994 to Blair's run at the Labour leadership. It was even included in the Michael Sheen-David Morrissey screen version of the infamous meal. However, the Brown camp probably made this up to make Blair look like an effete, modish Islingtonite.

 

 

45
Labour councils banned black bin liners in the 1980s as racist
Often used to portray the madness of the Militant and far-left wing local administrations that ruled in places such as London and Liverpool, this was never true. A ban would be quite believable now - but for environmental reasons.

 

 

44 

Interest rates hit 15 per cent during the ERM crisis

The ERM debacle, when Britain was humiliatingly forced to abandon membership in 1992, is often measured with the above statistic to reveal the full economic horror of that time. In reality, the government announced on 16 September that the rate would go up to 15 per cent on the following day, but that never happened because we crashed out of the mechanism on Black Wednesday.

 

 

43

Herbert Morrison: "We are going to build the Tories out of London"

London has often been a battleground, with insidious plots hatched by various parties to gain political advantage. This quote, the opposite of Shirley Porter's attempts to move Labour voters out of Westminster in the 1980s, was apparently made when Morrison was leader of London County Council in the 1930s. It has never been proven and his biographers claim it is apocryphal.

 

 

42

Lord Curzon once got on a bus and asked the driver to take him to his club

A terrific story from the early 20th century about an upper-class aristocrat struggling to understand how public transport works. Sadly, it is too good to be true. It never happened. 

 

 

41

Alan Clark said that Michael Heseltine was the sort of person who had "bought his own furniture"

The quote is actually from Michael Jopling MP. But it could easily be an example of Clark's acid wit, and he mentions it in his diaries, which explains why it stuck to Clark rather than Jopling.

 

 

40
"If a man is not a socialist at 20 he has no heart, if he is not a conservative at 30 he has no brain"
You could have a Top 50 of Winston Churchill myths alone. While this phrase is often cited to justify Churchill's own vacillating political position, it wasn't said by him at all. It was uttered by an obscure French politician Political myths

 

 

39
The young in the US were strongly against the Vietnam War.
The myth that Vietnam split America's generations is actually untrue. Opinion polls showed consistently that young people were more likely to support the war than the older generation. 

 

 

38
"America is our oldest ally"
The closeness (or perceived closeness) of the special relationship sometimes transmogrifies into the above misconception. Portugal has been our oldest ally since 1381. The Americans have only been our permanent allies since the Second World War, with the formation of NATO.

 

 

37
Duncan Sandys was the 'headless man' in the 1963 Argyll divorce photos
One of a sudden rash of salacious stories in the early 1960s, the suggestion was that the Conservative cabinet minister was the unidentifiable naked man at an upper-class orgy. He wasn't, although he later admitted this was simply luck, because he could have been.

 

 

36

Making love to Nicholas Soames was "like having a large wardrobe fall on top of you with a very small key"

This image was briefly revived by the more mischievous commentators when John Prescott's affair with Tracy Temple was exposed. But the initial reference to Soames originated from an anonymous woman and has never been verified, so makes our list.

 

 

35

The Conservative 1979 victory was thanks to Saatchi & Saatchi

The advertising campaign undoubtedly provided some iconic images, particularly the famous 'Labour isn't working'  poster, but its success can be overstated. Labour actually made up ground in the campaign period.

 

 

34

Labour ran an unprecedentedly efficient and slick election campaign in 1964 which wiped the floor with the Etonian Conservatives

Labour's 1964 election campaign often gets praise it doesn't deserve. Actually the campaign was a mess, the party got 11,000 fewer votes than in 1959. It is not really such a good example of a party responding to changing social trends.

 

 

33

Jimmy Carter was attacked by a killer rabbit

Fishing near his hometown of Plains, Georgia in 1979, the then President realised a large swamp rabbit was swimming towards his boat. A flustered Carter had to flail at it with his oars. The story leaked out, and it became known as the Killer Rabbit Incident after a Washington Post cartoon.

 

 

32

Harold Macmillan resigned as PM because of the Profumo affair

Not true - John Profumo, Secretary of State for War, resigned in June over his affair with Christine Keeler. Macmillan left office in October because he was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. Which also proved wrong, Macmillan lived until 1986.

 

 

31

Margaret Thatcher was particularly unpopular with the Scots

OK, poll tax wasn't a roaring success but Thatcher lost only 0.7 per cent of the Scottish Tory vote between becoming Conservative leader and her last election in 1987. Which is a better record than Heath and Macmillan. 

 

 

30

Clement Attlee is "a modest man, but then he has so much to be modest about"

Churchill detested this quote being attributed to him because he was immensely grateful for Attlee's support as deputy PM during the Second World War.

 

 

29

Britain was forced to go cap in hand to the IMF in 1976

Yes, it is true that we humiliatingly received an IMF loan, but we were not forced to do so. Everyone in government got their figures wrong and it was later realised that the reduction of the budget controls and money and credit controls meant the intervention was unnecessary. Viewed as humiliating, Labour's economic reputation did not recover until New Labour arrived in office in 1997.

 

 

28

The introduction of the poll tax in Scotland was an experiment

The infamous poll tax was introduced in Scotland a year earlier than the rest of the country, in 1989, by a rapidly panicking Conservative government. The move is sometimes ascribed to some peculiarly anti-Scottish bias of the Thatcher government. However, a coincidental change had caused sharp residential rates rises north of the border. It was always planned to introduce it to England and Wales as soon as practicable.

 

 

27
Harold Macmillan described privatisation as "selling off the family silver"
This quote is supposed to have emerged from a speech given by the former PM to the Tory Reform Group in 1985. The full quote is: "The sale of assets is common with individuals and states when they run into financial  difficulties. First, all the Georgian silver goes, and then all that nice furniture that used to be in the saloon. Then the Canalettos go." Selling off the family silver has now become a cliché often used by journalists.

 

 

26

Peter Mandelson was hounded out of office by the press for his second resignation in 2001

During Tony Blair's time in No 10, the media were often blamed for deliberately picking epic battles with the Government. Mandelson's second resignation in January 2001 from his position as Northern Ireland Secretary being a prime example. It led to the famous "I am a fighter, not a quitter" speech by him during the 2001 election. Actually, Lib Dem MP Norman Baker asked the crucial written question in the Commons that led to his departure from office following inquiries from Mandelson over a passport request from the Hinduja brothers.

 

 

25

David Mellor wore a Chelsea kit while making love

Made up by Max Clifford, but this delightful image contributed to the John Major government being beset by sleaze and sex scandals in the early 1990s.

24

Gordon Brown is an Arctic Monkeys fan

The then-Chancellor in fact told New Woman magazine in 2006 that the Sheffield band (pictured above) really woke him up when he heard them on the radio. He later confessed he preferred Coldplay and has professed admiration for Pop Idol, X-Factor and Britain's Got Talent contestants.

 

 

23

Jeffrey Archer lied about going to Oxford University

The peer and novelist gained an education certificate from Oxford so under all measures he did attend, even if not as an undergraduate.

 

 

22

Labour won the 1966 election because of England's World Cup victory

There is nothing like a sporting victory to raise a nation's spirits and gain some political capital. But the year of swinging London saw Labour hold the election before the important event of the year, England's only World Cup  victory. Somewhere in many memories the timeline has become mixed up.

 

 

21

George W Bush was an uneducated hick

Folksy he may have been, but the second Bush president remains the only Commander-in-Chief to hold an MBA from Harvard Business School.

 

 

20
Catholics are not allowed to be Prime Minister
Tony Blair may have waited until he left No10 before joining the Catholic faith but no constitutional barrier would have prevented him from doing it while PM. This enduring myth hasn't been true for close on 200 years.

 

 

19

"Any man who finds himself on a bus after the age of 30 can count himself a failure"

Margaret Thatcher's rather harsh measurement of success was really uttered by Loeila, Duchess of Westminster. It stuck on Thatcher because it seemed to sum up her contribution to the rapacious, money-grabbing culture of the 1980s.

 

 

18
Labour governments become progressively more unpopular
There is a general rule that Labour in power becomes broke and more unpopular. However, the Clement Attlee administration of 1945-1951 emerged with two million more votes in the 1950 general election, but the first-past the post system reduced their majority significantly.

 

 

17

"They are going about the country stirring up apathy"

Thatcher's deputy, Willie Whitelaw, was famous for his "Willie-isms" but was misquoted during the second 1974 election campaign. He actually said: "They are going around the country stirring up complacency". Which is still an odd statement, as noted by Simon Hoggart who was present, but not the one widely reported.

 

 

16

"It was the Sun wot won it"

The famous headline does not speak the entire story. The Sun didn't declare its support for the Conservatives until close to the1992 general election and it's very debatable how much influence it had on voting. That didn't stop it claiming the credit for the Tory victory. This was the second classic Sun headline in two days as it followed the Kinnock light bulb image of the previous day.

 

 

15
Margaret Thatcher only won the 1983 election because of the Falklands War
The Falklands conflict did boost support for the Tory party. However, Labour's 1983 Manifesto wasn't called "the longest suicide note in history" by Gerald Kaufman for no reason and the emergence of the Social Democratic Party (SDP) split the left-wing vote. Polls were also beginning to point upwards for the Tories before the war.

 

 

14
Watching "Wor Jackie"
Tony Blair claimed to have sat and watched Jackie Milburn play at Newcastle at the Gallowgate End. Except he didn't. The Radio 5 Live interview in 1997 from which this myth emerged didn't include any such claim.

 

 

13

Margaret Thatcher was hugely popular as Prime Minister

Despite her undeniable obliteration of most political rivals - until her own party stabbed her in the back - Thatcher never won more than 43 per cent of the vote in her three general election victories.

 

 

12

"On yer bike" - Norman Tebbit

The Chingford skinhead's actual statement at the 1981 Conservative Conference was much softer: "I grew up in the '30s with an unemployed father. He didn't riot. He got on his bike and looked for work, and he kept looking 'til he found it." This mythical sentiment by Thatcher's close ally was seen as an insult to the millions of unemployed in early 80s Britain.

 

 

11

"Crisis, what crisis?"

Another Sun headline that passed into folklore. PM James Callaghan came back from an international economic conference in Guadeloupe to a rapidly degenerating Winter of Discontent in 1979, and was reported to have callously dismissed the emergency. What he really said when surrounded by reporters at the airport was: "I don't  think other people in the world would share the view [that] there is mounting chaos."

 

 

10
"And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning"
Evidence of Churchill's cutting response to Bessie Braddock or Lady Astor's accusation of drunkenness cannot be found. Apparently it was an old gag even in pre-Second World War days.

 

 

9

"Events, dear boy, events"

Used since the late 1950s to explain how events that are out of a Prime Minister's control often thwart them. It appears everywhere when a government is faced by crises, but it's a misquote. Harold Macmillan actually talked about "the opposition of events".

 

 

8

"Hug a hoodie"

Part of the odd triangulation of recent British politics, where a Labour government accuses the Tory Party of being soft on crime, this phrase was coined by Tony McNulty in an interview to dismiss David Cameron's explanation of why young hoodlums deserve love. Cameron never said it, and has claimed it's his most misrepresented statement.

 

 

7

Michael Foot's donkey jacket

The garment worn by Labour's then leader at a 1981 Remembrance Day service was actually a short overcoat. Even the Queen Mother complimented him on it. The comment that it was a donkey jacket came from a critical Labour MP watching on TV and the image stuck because it chimed with the stereotype of Foot as a scruff.

 

 

6

Weapons of mass destruction

Saddam Hussein had used the hideous weapons in the past, but the WMD that formed the basis of The Evening Standard's infamous "45 minute" headline were never found after the invasion and undermined one the key reasons presented by Tony Blair for Saddam's removal.

 

 

5

The Speakership rotates

Ignore this 'rule' that the Speakership rotates between the two main political parties, which was a strong theme of the recent acrimonious election of John Bercow. While Conservative MPs believed it was 'their turn', in fact the Speaker almost always comes from the governing party, except when enough government MPs vote for an opposition member (such as Betty Boothroyd and John Bercow). Over the last few decades, the Speakership has generally alternated between Conservative and Labour, but only due to changes of government between Speaker elections, not because of any constitutional convention.

 

 

4

"Yo! Blair"

Listen carefully to the notorious recorded conversation between George Bush and Tony Blair during a break in a G8 meeting in St Petersburg, Russia in July 2006. The greeting sounds far more like "Yeah Blair". This also doesn't seem particularly polite and Bush even carried on eating as Tony Blair leant over his shoulder to discuss the Israeli- Palestine issue. However, "Yeah Blair" wouldn't have been as funny or memorable. The Yo greeting became the subject of books, articles and was commonly used as a biting comment on Britain's declining status within the 'special relationship'.

 

 

3

All MPs are corrupt

Once the Daily Telegraph got hold of the disc with details of MPs expenses at the start of May, the expenses saga dominated the news for nearly two months. It supposedly revealed venality that would have made 18th century  politicians blanch. While the stories were jawdropping and it culminated in a catastrophic crisis for parliamentarians, around 220 MPs have paid money back to the fees offi ce - that's roughly a third of MPs. So the majority of MPs are not corrupt, guilty of abusing the discredited expenses system or of even paying back money to look honorable. Something to remember among the furore.

 

 

2 

John Major tucks his shirt into his underpants

Steve Bell, the Guardian cartoonist first drew Major as a "crap superman" wearing his underpants over his trousers in 1990. Alastair Campbell, then a Daily Mirror political journalist, subsequently claimed to have spotted that Major tucked his shirt into his pants. It was brilliantly vulgar and believable if you believed Major's Spitting image puppet was an accurate portrayal. Of course, it was not true - it was a completely unfair and successful attempt at character assassination that further undermined a Prime Minister crashing towards election wipeout in 1997. Major himself refused to discuss the idea, saying it was designed to destabilise him. But it did
raise a few titters.

 

 

1

"Can I have some of that guacamole with my fish and chips?"

So delicious a story it quickly passed into folklore and becomes our favourite political myth of all time. Unfortunately, Peter Mandelson didn't mistake mushy peas for an avocado dip when ordering a haddock supper in a Hartlepool fish and chip shop in the 1990s. But it seemed to fi t his image as a dapper, metropolitan man used to higher social circles. Opinion differs as to whether it was an American researcher's mistake at the Knowsley byelection in 1986 or an insult from the Militant days in Liverpool. Neil Kinnock has been blamed for spreading the rumour.