This year the PM’s nomination for ‘employee of the year’ is a simple one.

Well, it would be if Larry the cat was eligible for nomination. Unfortunately however for Larry, he is of course not employed by Cameron. In fact his upkeep is entirely paid for by cash raised in a fundraiser.  But with Larry’s recent media contributions he is in an ideal position to renegotiate this relationship.

Larry the cat has a rare talent - he can guarantee good headlines. Securing column inch after column inch of cutsie stories about his playful antics at No 10, he’s the perfect press officer. How can we make sure Obama’s visit stays in the papers for as long as possible? Easy. Simply take a picture of the president stroking Larry and release the pictures for the weekend papers.

Larry must sit in on Steve Hilton’s brainstorming sessions, listen to him talk about the happiness index and the big society, and think ‘Steve, just take a picture of me and press release it right now, you moron’.  Because Larry can do incredible things. He can make BBC journalists write headlines like ‘Number 10 cat Larry catches three mice’.

And every time Larry is mentioned, we associate this cute little bundle of fur with No 10 and David Cameron. How cute is Larry? Well, so cute that although he was brought in to kill mice, he’s not even very good at it. He’s so adorable that he hasn't even got the gumption to act on his own innate urge to kill. Embarrassed? Not a bit of it.  Larry managed to get this story covered by pretty much every news outlet with tongue in cheek headlines like ‘Downing Street cat Larry backed despite No 10 mice’. Ahhhhh...

The tone of all these stories has to be light-hearted. How can you report on a cat in No 10 in anything other than warm tones?  The Daily Mail had a go with their exclusive: ‘David Cameron is forced to throw cutlery at mice’ but it was no good. The story still left you with that fuzzy feeling inside. The loveable cat, and through association, his loveable owner - annoyed about the mice problem but damn well intent on protecting him at all costs.

So this Christmas let’s hope Cameron offers Larry the contract he’s clearly earned. If Steve Hilton deserves one, so does Larry.

Tags: David Cameron, Downing Street, Larry the Cat, Steve Hilton