Witnessing Boris Johnson auctioning off a portion of fish and chips for £100, in response to be being heckled in a warehouse in Ruislip, North West London, is not something you see every day. However that was the situation Conservative Party members found themselves in last night.
The mayor arrived to much excitement and made his speech with typical gusto. Being insulted by Harriet Harman is, according to the mayor, ‘like being savaged by a dead sheep’.
Speaking about the Labour Party conference he said: “I haven’t been keeping track of the slow motion car crash that’s been taking place in Liverpool. Is it even in Liverpool?”
The speech was interrupted by a man who was so enraged at being served the Indian food that was on the menu that he started shouted about how disgraceful it was. Thinking that the man was displeased with something he’d said Johnson halted his speech and attempted to address the issue. Upon realising what the issue was he responded by stating “the last time I checked the most popular dish in this country was chicken tikka masala!” The crowd went wild, but the gentleman in question did not.
He was quickly ushered out of the building, after chants of “Out! Out!” from the rest of the attendees, who clearly did not share his views.
In the furore one kindly gentleman had rushed out to purchase some fish and chips for the dissatisfied man. When he returned, with no one to receive the fish supper, Boris decided to auction it off instead and raised £100. It’s no mean feat to auction off a soggy portion of fish and chips from a South Ruislip chip shop for £100.
Impromptu auction over, the mayor gave one last wave and scuttled off, but not before members of Conservative Future had been made to have a photo with him. Ever the smooth talker, Johnson had earlier approached our table and said: “it seems the average age of the Tory party has gone down, but the average beauty has gone up”, causing much nervous giggling.
With the mayoral election fast approaching it is likely that Johnson will be attending many more of these functions in the future, although whether they will all be as eventful as the one last night remains to be seen.
Comments
PeterC / September 30 2011 3:07pm
Just could not resist this impulse....
"It's no mean feat to auction off a portion of soggy fish and chips... for £100."
Nah not to Boris and his chums, they've been screwing us all for years like this and for much larger sums too.