I already knew what questions were contained in the census when I received it last night. And to be honest, despite my classically liberal inclination I wasn't bothered by most of what was asked. But there was one glaring exception: a request for me to state my religious faith.
By what right does the State claim entitlement to maintain a register of my faith (or in my case, lack of it)? And even if such a right were identified, in what way does knowing my faith help the State make a determination about service provision? It doesn't.
Leave religious service provision to the various religious organisations. Let market forces tell them how many churches or mosques they need to build (or close down). The willingness of people to sit on wooden pews is a far better indicator of service requirements than any data sets collected in the census.
The State should have only that information which is necessary to ensure the effective planning of necessary services. And in that regard, faith is no more relevant than knowledge of sexual orientation or a person's preference for Cornflakes or Rice Crispies in the morning.
So, what answer will I be providing to this invasive question? I haven't decided yet, but "Tiger Blood" and "bi-winning" are strong contenders.
Taking Tiger Blood to the census
by Shane Greer / 08 Mar 2011 09:17
The state has no right to maintain a register of our religious faith. Our executive editor takes inspiration from Charlie Sheen for his answer to the census
Getty images
Comments
Bill Quango MP / March 08 2011 1:36pm
Gaeneologists are going to wonder exactly what happened in 2011 that caused 40% of the population to become Jedi.
Jason O'Mahony / March 08 2011 1:40pm
Yo're very harsh on Rice Crispies!
Fenman / March 08 2011 1:45pm
Indeed so !
My church is somewhat `elderly` and showing it. Our congregation has been given the task to raise £50,000 to replace the roof. With a total attendance of circa 600 the cash, completely seperate from the normal collection, will be found by members.
Need I say more
Shane Greer / March 08 2011 1:49pm
I'm afraid I've always been a Lucky Charms man. Rice Crispies just don't cut it against a breakfast cereal with marshmallows ;)
strapworld / March 08 2011 4:10pm
But the question is not obligatory. Just ignore it.
Quite a number of my friends are going to put Jedi anyway.
colin / March 08 2011 4:12pm
If you actually read it the religion section is optional for you to fill in, so you don't have to give some "hilarious" quip as your answer. i.e. you can leave it blank...
Brian Barder / March 08 2011 5:51pm
I too have no religion, indeed am something approaching a crusading atheist (if you'll forgive the oxymoron), but I don't understand your objection to being asked this optional question. I shall simply tick the 'none' box and leave it at that. I imagine that those who write in 'Jedi' or some other witty response, like those who don't answer at all, will simply not have their answers counted, which will reduce the percentage of "no-religion" replies in the eventual statistics, and that would be a great pity. It will exaggerate the percentage of the population claiming to adhere to some religious faith and that will strengthen the priests, rabbis, imams, etc., seeking their various exemptions from civil rights legislation and other unearned and unjustified privileges. In fact I suspect that "we are many, they are few", and it would be a sign of real progress if the census results confirmed it.
If we are ever to achieve the disinfection of our public ceremonies from the religious infestation, a clear majority of 'no-religions' in the census replies would be a huge help. Unfortunately we atheists and agnostics are a bolshy lot and a great many of us will be unable to resist the temptation to use the question as an opportunity for either protest or wit.
Brian
http://www.barder.com/ephems/
Shane Greer / March 08 2011 5:54pm
Colin, but where would the fun be in that? :)
george / March 08 2011 8:54pm
There are so many reasons to despise the census. Mine went in the bin this evening.
Donnacha DeLong / March 09 2011 12:16am
I wanted to write Discordian Agnostic, but there wasn't enough space, so I'm now officially a Discordian Agnost.
Mark / March 09 2011 11:49am
I filled in my census last night.
My one-bedroom flat contains 10 muslim immigrants who don't work and all need help to complete the census form.
4 of them are trans-gender and in a common-law relationship with each other.
8 are cared for by the other two (matriarchal lesbian couple) who both have an MA in gender studies.
Charlie / March 09 2011 2:06pm
It is the one question you can leave unanswered, I suspect for all the reasons you've said. Read the question properly and chill.
Weygand / March 09 2011 5:00pm
1. Certain Cof E bishops are by virtue of their office part of the legislature so there is a historical religious element in our system of government
2. Leaders of all faiths frequently complain that religious considerations are neglected by modern politics and are pressing for more attention to their voice.
3. The greatest threat to public security stems from is religious.
4. The greatest threat to world peace and economic development is likely to be religious conflict.
Seems to me there are plenty of reasons for it to be useful for legislators to know the secular/religious balance of the population and the size and make up of the religious component.
If you do truly believe in a creed by which you set your whole moral being, why would you not want to say so?
If you are a liberal, why would you not want full transparency on such an important issue?